You make me wanna scream
by ChiisanaAnisa
Summary: A short oneshot on how could the Inuyasha series end. Spoke from Kagome's point of view we see that life isn't always coloured in pink lenses. Will you click and read the potential ending, not happy at all?


**Disclaimer: **_No? . . . No!

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**"You make me wanna scream"**

**By Chiisana Anisa

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_You make me wanna scream_

_My life is just a game_

_Am I living in vain_

_You make me wanna scream..._

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My head was spinning and it gave me a feeling like it's falling apart inside, nerve by nerve, as if someone is pulling them slowly and painfully out. I closed my eyes in effort to block at least one bit of pain but instead, it only got worse.

The rain was falling down hard on me, soaking me to my very bones, the jacket I pressed tightly around my trembling body not helping at all. I was freezing and yet I had good ten minutes more of walking home.

Of course I wouldn't have been in this position if I haven't missed the bus, left my umbrella at work, took the wrong jacket this morning... but that's how my life works these days. Nothing goes as planned anymore, everything seems to fall apart in my hands. Even the smallest of things I dare to touch. I was, I am, depressed for months now because life has proven me what happens when you take everything for granted.

I'm working as a waitress. Yes, just an ordinary waitress. Opposite of my families belief, I didn't go to college and I'm stuck here and now with barely, but finished high school. I could name my life miserable.

My appearance changed. I'm not cute little girl anymore. I'm twenty-two years old woman who looks like she's at least ten years older than that. My hair is up in a messed up, now drenched from the rain, I have bags under my eyes blue as plums, my skin is deathly pale and many people told me that my eyes changed the most.

They are now dark blue - almost black actually. They lost that special spark of innocence they once held, now showing only dullness. I do have a gorgeous body but I neglect it, for I don't have the time to take care of it.

I sacrificed the best years of my life searching for that bloody Jewel, putting it's broken pieces back together, while without my knowing I was breaking my life into pieces similar to the shards. In the process I lost all of my friends here, in my era, and what's even sadder, one member of my family.

Grampa left us two years ago, and I found about it when I got home after two months of useless searching. I went ballistic, near hysterics, cried for many days and nights, even sealed the Well so Inyuasha couldn't come and drag me back.

It was sealed for a month before my mother yelled at me that I have certain matters to end. So I picked my broken flesh from the floor, wiped away my tears, subdued my pain and went back to Feudal Japan more lifeless then ever.

Everyone noticed something was wrong with me but no one asked for I talked to no one for a certain amount of time. Come to think of it, I believe I blamed them at some point for not being there, maybe Inuyasha being the main. But life went on.

A year passed, my dark mood disappeared and in the mean time we defeated Naraku and completed the Shikon no Tama. Everyone was happy and satisfied, Sango and Miroku finally married and adopted Shippou, Kouga finally took the hint and left me alone as did Sesshoumaru for all of us.

Inuyasha was however, a completely different story. He kept quiet for most of the time, probably blaming himself too for me missing my grandfather's death. He was also beaten for losing Kikyou at some level. So it all passed. After so much troubles and heartache on both sides he confessed his affection for me and I was deliriously happy. For a year.

Then everything started going down the drain. Constant traveling back and forth to be with him or my family while managing a job and taking care of the house slowly sucked all the reserves of energy I stored throughout the years.

Serious illness attacked me, probably an price for making them all up, and at one point I was on the verge of death. Inuyasha again, blaming himself, took the Shikon no Tama while I was unconscious and wished to be human.

Thus the problem was solved. He moved in with me after I came home from the hospital, the two of us officially engaged. It was nice for one period of time, with the preparations for the wedding, a lighter mood settled upon all of us and I led myself to believe everything would turn all right in the end. We prepared to live happily ever after.

Right.

Inuyasha had no education and therefore couldn't find a job. Well he did, but those small and degrading kind of jobs, like the janitor, the toilet keeper, the wood chopper etc. I became a waitress to bring more money to the household and dropped the idea of attending college all together.

Day by day went like that, monotone and cold. Things between me and Inyuasha seemed to have been frozen in time, somewhere between his and my era, in an unknown rift of space and time.

We both pretended to be content as we are and happy with the life we are living but it was anything but that. My mother even noticed, as did I by her ever knowing pitiful smiles. I envied Souta at his childhood, his now teenage years, for my own went by too fast.

So in this short time of looking back at my life I find nothing special to hold on to. Don't misunderstood me - I love Inyuasha, dearly. But I'm feeling suffocated, like I'm losing myself part by part, day by day.

And now when I turn the lock and open the doors my life sickens me so much I want to scream. I breathe in deep and step forward, Inuyasha's face offering me a welcoming smile. I see by his eyes, and I'm sure he in mine, that we're both trapped in our own fairy-tale with no happy ending.

I want to scream at my life, my past, present and future, my family, my love and mostly at myself. But I don't. I smile back sadly and repeat my deadly routine. Walking to the kitchen tears start dropping from my eyes and I can see Inuyasha sitting on the sofa and dejectedly looking at the floor. I open the cupboard and scream:

"Tea?"

Life is only one. We live it.

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**The End

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**AN:** _A dark and not at all nice take at how could Inuyasha story end. But it's only in my own imagination. I wanted to present something completely opposite from the light mode the anime is made in. So I created their future where the Sun doesn't always shine and our favorite heroes are just shadows of people they once were._

_Hope I didn't totally screwed it and that you're not mad at me. And for you readers that follow my other Inuyasha fic - "Torn" - it will be updated this week, maybe even tomorrow. It needs editing._

_Thank you for reading and potential reviewing._

_Love,_

_Chiisana Anisa_


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